Sweat ME

I'm so tired of chasing men!! I quit. I really quit!

I quit texting first. I quit calling first. I seriously give up. 

There's a part in a Nikki Minaj song called "I Lied" that goes like this:

"I can't fall for you, can't give my all to you
Can't let you think that Imma let the game stall for you
Gotta protect me you gotta sweat me..."

When I say "sweat me" I mean pursue me, chase ME, act like you're interested in me. I've always been fairly aggressive in my pursuit of a mate. I usually always make the first move, send the first text, make the first call. Hmmmmm.... Maybe that's why I'm super single.

Men love to be the hunters. Most men don't find aggression to be attractive at all. On the other hand, some men like a woman that's not afraid to initiate conversation. Personally, I'm still a bit confused. I've been told that I come off as intimidating. I don't know if it's the short hair cut, or the fact that I don't dress as sexy as I used to.

 I can't remember the last guy who walked up to me, introduced himself, and asked for my number. Is that old school? Is everything online/social media? I'm sure that since I'm never approached, a lot of the knuckle heads have been eliminated. However, I miss the days when guys would come up and talk to me. It made me feel like I was socially accepted by the opposite sex. I'm still working through past insecurities.

I've had several crushes this year, and I think I made the first move each time...

I'm confident. I'm a woman who goes after the things she wants. Am I doing it wrong? I think the ratio of women to men has made men less aggressive. In Ohio, there are 95 males per 100 females. I must be one of the random 5 women floating around aimlessly trying to be found by a man...

Then again, I haven't been on the dating scene heavily in a few years. After I had my son, I was single for 2 years, then I got married. After my divorce, I dated a few guys but those relationships failed and were meaningless. I've been divorced for a year now, and I'm doing my best to fight off the "lonelies."

 Why does being single have to suck so bad at times? 

Why is it that when I'm thinking about relationships, they avoid me, but when I'm not thinking about them they pursue me? This is weird.

But I'll tell you one thing, I'm not chasing anymore guys. It's not happening. I'm tired of letting loneliness take over my emotions and sending the first text or making the first call. I'm going to have to be very patient because men these days don't want to do the work like they used to. They have so many options that they know one of their women will call or text them. So they don't have to sweat females like they had to once upon a time.

I'll wait. I want a special guy next time. Someone I really like and who really likes me. He won't be perfect, but he'll be just right for me. I can't expect for him to be easily found because he's going to be one in a million. He won't be at some raunchy night club begging me to dance. He won't be trying to holler at me while I'm walking up the street or sitting at the bus stop. And sorry, but he won't be trying to talk to me at church. Whenever and wherever we meet, I won't be the one always making contact first. He'll text me "good morning" and "good night" everyday. I won't have to chase him, because he'll already be sweating me.