Learning To Love Him Pt. 1

Love is hard. It's not a rainbow overflowing with skittles and smiles. It's not frolicking through whispering meadows and kissing under the light of a brilliant full moon. Love can be ugly. I've learned that sometimes love hurts.

Love is a Language

I've had to learn how to love. I've studied love languages. I've observed love while residing with several married couples. Love shows up differently in every relationship. There is no code of love that each marriage follows. Understanding love is the secret to having longevity in any relationship, especially marriage.

Love is Patient

Am I currently in a relationship with the man I love? I don't know. But that's a part of learning to love him. I hurt my man while we were together. We've hurt each other throughout these past four years. Yet, as I'm learning to love him, I know that I have to be patient with him. My man is highly intelligent. He has an extremely powerful mind. He uses more logic than emotion in his everyday life. Therefore, when matters of the heart arise, he needs time to process the feelings through both his heart and mind.

 Love is a Mirror
He is also a perfectionist and always wants to be the best. I made a decision which made him feel like second best. His ego was bruised, crushed, damn near knocked unconscious. It's going to take time to rebuild that trust. I will wait for as long as it takes because I love him.

Love has Levels

I love him, but love isn't enough. Men need respect. I respect him. I will never tear him down verbally. I want to empower him and encourage him to be the best version of himself. I've learned that one of his love languages is words of affirmation. That means he feels loved when I shower him with positive comments. He feels loved when I tell him how amazing he is, and how much I appreciate him.

I could write a book about my lessons in love. 

Love is...

I will leave you to ponder on this: Love is ambiguous. It has many meanings and is defined differently to those who practice it. Love is a language. It's a noun and a verb. It's a feeling and a duty. How do you love? How do you define it? How do you receive it?