Over 30 and Still Single? Here Are 5 Reasons Why
I am still waiting for my dream guy to sweep me off of my feet. Yep. I still believe in love. I still want the fairy tale. I've been in many relationships. I've even been married before. Now that I'm over 30 and still single, I'm ready to do an honest analysis of why the heck I'm educated, gorgeous, intelligent, well-traveled, financially stable but still single. Are you over 30 and still single? Here Are 5 Reasons Why:
#5 You're repeating old patterns.
You meet a person you like. He is handsome, intelligent, kind and successful. You are convinced, yet again, that he is the one. Your first few dates are amazing! He's perfect! Then, BOOM! He disappears. Or maybe he starts to distance himself. You wonder what happened this time? Did you come on too strong? Did you give up the cookie too soon? Was he already in a relationship and perhaps using you to fill his void of loneliness? Yes. You were too aggressive. You didn't communicate your expectations up front. You ignored the red flags. You didn't ask the right questions. You've played yourself again.
#4 You haven't let go of your ex
You're still reminiscing over the good old days. The memories, the smiles, the family celebrations, and the vacations. He was your first love, your best friend, maybe even the father of your children. You've dated a few guys, but no one has given you the feelings that you felt with your ex. He doesn't want you back, but you still answer at his beck and call. You hopelessly long for the love you two shared. Yet, you know it won't work out if you tried again. You use him as a scratching post for your loneliness. He occupies most of the space in your heart, allowing no room for Mr. Right to enter.
#3 Your partner isn't ready
You like each other. You've spent time together, met each other's family, and have become extremely close. You have given to and of each other physically, financially, mentally, spiritually and emotionally. There's nothing left to do now except make it official right? Wrong. Your partner isn't ready to make that commitment. He is enjoying having all of the benefits of a wife without any legal obligations or responsibilities. You both have allowed things to get this far with no commitment. Maybe he's made it clear that he's not ready. Yet, you are convinced that if you hang in there he'll change his mind. Until he's ready, he'll never commit.
#2 Marriage isn't for you
You've tried to picture the house, the picket fence and the SUV. You've tried to imagine the white dress, bridesmaids and honeymoon in Hawaii. Your parents are happily married. Most of your girlfriends are too. You've even dated some amazing men who were ready to settle down. However, when you think about sharing life 50/50 with another soul, it doesn't excite you. You're comfortable in your career, in your home,and with the life you've built for yourself. Having a mate is cool and all, but you've settled comfortably into your singleness. You've accepted the fact that marriage may not be for you. And, you're alright with that.
You've tried to picture the house, the picket fence and the SUV. You've tried to imagine the white dress, bridesmaids and honeymoon in Hawaii. Your parents are happily married. Most of your girlfriends are too. You've even dated some amazing men who were ready to settle down. However, when you think about sharing life 50/50 with another soul, it doesn't excite you. You're comfortable in your career, in your home,and with the life you've built for yourself. Having a mate is cool and all, but you've settled comfortably into your singleness. You've accepted the fact that marriage may not be for you. And, you're alright with that.
#1 You're not dating a husband
Pause. Let me explain. I am not suggesting that you date married men. What I mean by dating a husband is dating a man who actually wants to be a husband. Are you dating men who are looking for marriage? Has he mentioned marriage? Is he actively seeking a wife? There are major differences between men who want to be a husband and men who have no interest in the role. Usually, men who are ready for marriage express it early in the relationship. They make it known through both their words and actions.
If you're over 30 and still single, don't feel bad. Reassess your past relationships. What went wrong? What patterns do you need to break? What questions do you need to ask? What standards do you need to set? If marriage is your ultimate goal, are you strategically entering relationships with that end goal in mind? Marriage is not some secret society reserved for select citizens. You are worthy and you deserve a great partner and a lifelong intimate relationship. Hang in there. Each past relationship is a lesson learned. With each breakup, you're getting one step closer to your soul mate.
If you're over 30 and still single, don't feel bad. Reassess your past relationships. What went wrong? What patterns do you need to break? What questions do you need to ask? What standards do you need to set? If marriage is your ultimate goal, are you strategically entering relationships with that end goal in mind? Marriage is not some secret society reserved for select citizens. You are worthy and you deserve a great partner and a lifelong intimate relationship. Hang in there. Each past relationship is a lesson learned. With each breakup, you're getting one step closer to your soul mate.
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