New Relationship RECAP Month 2: Days 31-60

The Getting to Know You Phase: Today is March 26th. Approximately 60 days since our second date and 63 days since our first. Days 31-60 are the days when you start to see ones personality unfold.

Days 31-60 RECAP: We are going steady. We have been spending everyday together for the past few weeks. Because his job is highly essential, he's been at work most of the day. I have been working from his home. Honestly, neither of us have revealed any hidden monsters. There is nothing about him that has surfaced as a deal breaker. We both have been genuine from Day 1, which I believe is one reason why our relationship looks promising.

We were open, honest and consistent from the start. We both were single and unattached to anyone else emotionally. We were both honest about our careers and living situations. We both answered all questions truthfully. That's simply the law of attraction. We both were comfortable within ourselves yet still yearning deeply for someone to give love to and receive love from.

At this point in the relationship, we are still bonding and connecting. We are learning our patterns, observing our flow, and continuing to explore one another. This is a fun time because things are not too serious. There is much less uncertainty of whether or not we actually like each other and want to continue growing together as a couple.

Learning From the Past
Two genuine and content souls collided after years of exhaustion, heart break and mistakes. Both he and I have been hurt in past relationships. We both have been on the giving and receiving end of break ups, one sided relationships, and situationships. However, we both have always wanted to settle down and have a mutually beneficial real love. A love that would lead to marriage and stability. A love that would create a bubble of safety for our family.

It's difficult to continue being transparent and opening up your heart time after time. You become fragile. You become guarded. You become fearful, insecure and tired. Dating in our 30's is much different than dating in our 20's. Now, we both want stability. A decade ago, we wanted superficial things like a good looking partner. At 32 and 33, children are involved and we are thinking long-term when planning for the future.

Ready To Quit
I was just about to give up on dating before we met. All I was searching for was something and someone real. I was tired of dead end dating. I was over jumping into relationships with men I knew I had no future with for the sake of not being alone. I was sick of devaluing myself and adjusting who I am to force fit into the lives of men I thought were above me. I was at my wits end when we met.

The icing on the cake was his two hour late appearance on our first date. I was done. His tardiness was confirmation of my decision to hide away my heart forever. Furthermore, I didn't even want to go out on a second date with him. However, my pride wouldn't let me do to him what so many men had done to me. I had agreed to go out with him and I figured I would keep my word since I planned on not seeing him again afterwards.

To my surprise, I enjoyed being with him so much on that second date. I carried a carefree attitude while interacting with him, therefore I showed my true colors early on. I never tried to impress him. I never tried too hard to put on airs or do anything extra to make him like me. I treated him like he was one of my guy friends or male family members. I truly believe that was the key factor to us starting our relationship.

Looking Towards the Future
I've been hurt, he's been hurt. I've played games in the past and so has he. We have both gained wisdom and experience from the past and plan on using what we've learned to sustain our new relationship. We both see a future together. The pessimist in me realizes that things change and people change. I know that in the blink of an eye either one of us can choose to walk away. The optimist in me is cheering us on. We are two hearts continuing to pick up the pieces of the past, to heal and grow together. With two willing lovers, anything is possible.

We have to take this one hour, one day, one week and one month at a time...

I will share our updates every step of the way.

The next update will be Month 3: Days 61-90. We'll see where the next 30 days takes us...