Full Circle

The first time around, I tried to solve a temporary problem with a permanent solution. 

I came back to Houston without a plan. I stayed with a good friend, and figured things out on the fly.

I tried going back "home" to get my things several times. It ended in chaos each time.

I tried dating, Paul, Brandon, Shannon, Mide, Jeremy, Ken, and a few others I can't remember. Nothing came from it. Just dead ends. 

I distracted myself with Bumble and Facebook dating. All to no avail. 

I went out to clubs and bars, desperately seeking companionship. I drank way too much. I chose to use others as a scratching post for my loneliness. It didn't work.

I completed a short film. 

I applied for over 100 jobs, went on several interviews, and finally landed a great position with the City of Missouri City.

I was approved for an apartment in Sienna. I got rid of my old car and purchased a newer vehicle. I was accepted to grad school. I had filed for divorce and received the court date. I was headed towards success.

Then, my heart got broken again. That was it for me. I needed a safe place to land. I decided to go back home and try to fix the marriage that I had broken.

It was ok for awhile. But after a few short months of failed attempts to reconcile, I knew I wasn't going to stay. There was a reason why I had left in the first place. Marriage counseling was a bust. Attending church didn't help. We were putting a bandaid over a bullet wound. 

I shared my feelings about leaving. They were quickly dismissed and met with anger and confusion. Deep in my soul, I knew I wasn't going to be stuck in a purgatory of ups and downs with no growth and no true happiness. I trusted the universe and developed an exit strategy.

This time, I was going to leave in peace and with a plan in place.

I moved back in with the same friend.

This time, I took all of my things and placed them in a storage unit. There was no need to ever go back.

I was approved for the same apartment in the same building that I first toured.

I vowed to stay away from online dating and I did. I got back in touch with Mide, but the chemistry just wasn't strong enough for me. I let him down easy for the second time. Poor guy. 

I drank much less. When I did go out to clubs, I talked business. No more drunk and desperate vibes. 

I interviewed for a few positions, applied for over 60 jobs, and now I'm looking forward to a call from a great company to start in a leadership role next month.

I completed another short film.

Heartbreak may be around the corner, but it's not enough to send me backwards.

This time around I had to ask for all the help in the world financially. 

It has been a challenging not having my own money. Bills are past due. I don't have anything extra, I owe just about everyone in my contact list. But I'm alright.

Many things have come full circle in less than a year. 

I learned my lessons. I was able to get a second chance and do things the right way this time. The turn around this time was a little over 30 days. Last time it took me four months to get my life back on track, just for me to have to start completely over. I left the job with the City of Missouri City. I can kind of see why now. It wasn't a part of the bigger plan. It was a stepping stone. Plus there would have been so much drama had I left my marriage but stayed working at a place where I could be easily accessed.

What's next for me now that I'm on the right track? 

Patience & Trust.

1. New Career

2. Financial Freedom

3. Regular visits to see my son

4. True love that's not forced but still a fantasy and a dream