Still Learning Over 30

Am I still trying to find myself at 31? Absolutely yes. My ex-husband told me that one of my most favorable characteristics is self-evolution. He said I will forever be constantly evolving. Perhaps that is why he is my ex-husband.

Constant evolution means constant change. It means that I am always transforming. It's a blessing and a curse. I get bored quickly. I am adventurous and I'm a thrill seeker. As a Capricorn, one would think I am dull or mundane. Yet, I have a fiery spirit. I love stability and routines, but I enjoy branching out of the norm often.

Being a person who is always evolving, I tend to outgrow people. At each stage of my life, I attract what I am. When I am no longer the same person, I tend to repel the same people I was once close to.  This affects my romantic relationships, as well as my friendships. I am a complicated and capricious being, but I am self aware.

Currently, I am evolving yet again. How do I know? Because I just went through yet another break-up. I am the King of failed relationships. I thought I was so in love with this man. I thought we could have spent the next 80 years together as husband and wife. However, after four months of dating, I wanted more. Did I mention that I am extremely emotional and impulsive? I'm sure that played a part in the demise of the relationship as well.

What I am still learning at 30 plus, is, who I am. I'm still trying to figure out what I want out of life. The more time I spend alone in my own space, the more in tune with myself I become. I can't wait to buy my first home so that I can basque in the peace and serenity of an atmosphere that I create.

At 31, I'm still learning that I am at my best when I am totally being myself.

At 31, I'm still learning that most people will not accept me for exactly who I am. Many people won't understand who I am and why I do or say certain things.

At 31, I've learned that the only opinion, perspective, position or persuasion that matters is my own.

At the end of the day, there is only me. Constantly evolving, complicated, capricious, and carefree me.







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