Top 5 Pros of Being a "Baby Mama"
The terms "baby mama" and "baby daddy" often times have extremely negative connotations attached to them. The stigma that comes with having a child out of wedlock is heavy at times, especially when the childs' father is absent. Fortunately for me, my son's father is very active in his life, and spends time with him at least 3 times a week, and pays his child support on time, no questions asked. Here are my top 5 perks/benefits of being a co-parent, in a world that looks down at being a "baby mama."
5. I'm not obligated to be in constant communication with a man I'm not in a relationship with.
Many baby mama's and baby daddy's have rocky relationships, however, when things finally cool off, and emotions aren't running so high, the conversations, whether text or talking, only consist of things about the child. For example:
Him: I'll pick him up at 6:00pm Tuesday and keep him until after work Saturday.
Me: Ok. I'll pick him up Saturday at 4:00pm.
End of discussion.
4. My son gets to experience and adapt to two different lifestyles.
My sons' father is all about sports. He was a professional athlete, and NCAA champion in college, so naturally he wants his son to follow in his footsteps. They go to the gym together, play basketball together, and do man stuff like push ups, sit ups and lay ups. On the other hand, I am not athletic in any sense of the word, but I am a scholar. I've made the Dean's List several times throughout my college years, I've taken honors/major work/gifted & talented classes since kindergarten, was awarded the Honor Key to my high school, and was a participant on the quiz show Academic Challenge. I have the looks, but I keep my head in the books. I've been reading to my son since he was in utero, and I read to him everyday he's with me. Not only will he be a star athlete, but he'll be an academic scholar as well. The best of both worlds.
3. I get to make my own rules. I don't have to compromise with and consider his father when making my sons' schedules and routines, because when he's with me, we do things my way, he eats what I cook, and goes to sleep at the time I've set. Now, of course there are some major things his father and I have to agree on, but for the most part, I raise my son my way, no questions asked.
2. My son gets to have uninterrupted quality time with his dad.
When my son is with his dad, it's all about the two of them. There is no mommy there to run and catch him every time he falls, or interfere with the bond that they are building together. My son's father gets to be with his son nonstop, for large gaps at a time, whereas if we were under the same roof, it would only be a few hours together.
1. I get more time to myself!
As a co-parent, my son's father keeps him at least 3 nights per week. This includes some weekends as well. If I were married to my son's father, (with the exception of family and friends), I'd never be able to have a safe and reliable overnight sitter for 3 consecutive nights. The me time is AWESOME, especially since I just got married 4 days ago.
Do I wish I would've been in a healthy marriage before I became pregnant with my son? Yes, of course! All great parents want to give their children the very best. However, that's not how my cookie crumbled. But I will not complain, or live in the past. What I will do is make positive choices and decisions for my son, based on the way the cards fell in our situation. There is always a bright side to even the worst of outcomes. Life is what we make it, so let's make it good!
5. I'm not obligated to be in constant communication with a man I'm not in a relationship with.
Many baby mama's and baby daddy's have rocky relationships, however, when things finally cool off, and emotions aren't running so high, the conversations, whether text or talking, only consist of things about the child. For example:
Him: I'll pick him up at 6:00pm Tuesday and keep him until after work Saturday.
Me: Ok. I'll pick him up Saturday at 4:00pm.
End of discussion.
4. My son gets to experience and adapt to two different lifestyles.
My sons' father is all about sports. He was a professional athlete, and NCAA champion in college, so naturally he wants his son to follow in his footsteps. They go to the gym together, play basketball together, and do man stuff like push ups, sit ups and lay ups. On the other hand, I am not athletic in any sense of the word, but I am a scholar. I've made the Dean's List several times throughout my college years, I've taken honors/major work/gifted & talented classes since kindergarten, was awarded the Honor Key to my high school, and was a participant on the quiz show Academic Challenge. I have the looks, but I keep my head in the books. I've been reading to my son since he was in utero, and I read to him everyday he's with me. Not only will he be a star athlete, but he'll be an academic scholar as well. The best of both worlds.
3. I get to make my own rules. I don't have to compromise with and consider his father when making my sons' schedules and routines, because when he's with me, we do things my way, he eats what I cook, and goes to sleep at the time I've set. Now, of course there are some major things his father and I have to agree on, but for the most part, I raise my son my way, no questions asked.
2. My son gets to have uninterrupted quality time with his dad.
When my son is with his dad, it's all about the two of them. There is no mommy there to run and catch him every time he falls, or interfere with the bond that they are building together. My son's father gets to be with his son nonstop, for large gaps at a time, whereas if we were under the same roof, it would only be a few hours together.
1. I get more time to myself!
As a co-parent, my son's father keeps him at least 3 nights per week. This includes some weekends as well. If I were married to my son's father, (with the exception of family and friends), I'd never be able to have a safe and reliable overnight sitter for 3 consecutive nights. The me time is AWESOME, especially since I just got married 4 days ago.
Do I wish I would've been in a healthy marriage before I became pregnant with my son? Yes, of course! All great parents want to give their children the very best. However, that's not how my cookie crumbled. But I will not complain, or live in the past. What I will do is make positive choices and decisions for my son, based on the way the cards fell in our situation. There is always a bright side to even the worst of outcomes. Life is what we make it, so let's make it good!
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