Houston Rock-It

I believe that most of us have a dream destination locked in our minds. It's the one special place where we'd live if we had no limitations financially, and no obligations holding us back. For you, it may be a place with a warm climate like Hawaii, Florida or Jamaica. Or maybe it's a place overseas such as Japan, Australia or England. Think about your dream destination. Feel yourself arriving, taking your first steps off the plane. Picture the welcoming smiles from your loved ones as you embrace after being apart for what felt like forever.

My "happy place," is Houston, Texas! Not just because all of my exes live in Texas (HA!), but because 3 of my most favorite people in the whole wide world live there. My sister, her husband, and my favorite nephew Liam. I love going to visit them in Houston! Ryan and I spent 3 months down there in the summer of 2013 and it was absolutely divine. I feel so complete and so happy when I'm with those guys. There's something about family that makes life less challenging.

I'm closest to my sister than anyone in the world. I look up to her, I confide in her, I respect her, and I love her so dearly. My nephew is like a son to me. I don't see him as often as I would like to, but I love him with the same love I have for Ryan. My sister has always been in my corner through the greatest and saddest moments of my life. She may not know it, but she's been my rock through the divorce, and through Ryan's health issues. 

Sometimes it's the smallest things that help someone the most. Knowing that I can call her any day, at any time, and about anything reassures me. She's listened to hours of my moaning, groaning, and complaining. She makes time for me even though she's a mom, wife and full-time professional. That means the world to me. My heart is so set on moving to Houston once I obtain my Bachelor's degree. However, there is but one thing holding me back... LOVE.

It would break the heart of Ryan's father if I moved his son hundreds of miles away from him. They have a very special bond, and I can see that they love each other very much. Ryan is learning all about basketball from his dad. He's gaining skills, confidence and knowledge. I honestly believe that Ryan gives his dad a fresh look at life. He has a little mini me to soak up everything he says and does. He has real love again. I didn't have a close bond like that with my dad, and I don't want to take away that experience from my son. He has a great father who loves him to pieces. I would honestly feel terrible ripping them apart.

But I WANNA GO!!!! Oh, the sunshine, the opportunities, the big city living, the non-existence of snow! The Liam!! I often daydream about decorating the Christmas tree together. Spending everyday together shopping, taking the boys to the park, throwing birthday parties, family vacations. Being only a few miles away instead of a few states away in another time zone would be so lovely. Our boys growing up together. I imagine us taking boys to their first day of school. The comfort, the stability,and the love are tugging at my heart strings urging me to move to Texas right now!

Choices. The decisions we make today do impact our tomorrow. Do I really want to sacrifice the relationship between my son and his dad for my own selfish wants? Is it fair? How will it affect Ryan as a man? On the other hand, will I regret not following my heart? Will I miss out on some unknown opportunity? Will I regret missing my nephews' most memorable childhood moments? Will my heart continue to ache every time I can't hug my only sister during sad times? 

Either I go and risk it all, or budget for monthly trips to Houston...