My First 'F'

That's right. Ms. Dean's List has received her first 'F' on a test. I got a 42/80, which adds up to 52.5%. That's an 'F' alright. This 'F' was on my midterm exam in my Organizational Communication class. That means my midterm grade in this class is also an 'F'. 

An 'F' sure does stand out, even though it's surrounded by A pluses. 

How do I feel? 

I feel great! First of all, a grade on a piece of paper (whether an A+ or an F-) doesn't define me. I'm more than a letter grade or a GPA. Secondly, this is a normal people problem. 

*******Do you know what I was going through last year on this exact date?*******

My son was recovering from his second brain surgery. He had had two brain surgeries in the same week. There were threats of a shunt, and I was stressed out to the max! I laugh in the face of a failing grade, on a sheet of paper, written by someone who doesn't even know me. HA! HA! HA!

What happened?

I'm a grown woman who has no problem admitting when I am wrong. I won't make any excuses, and I take full accountability for not passing this midterm exam. The bottom line is I underestimated the course work.   I assumed that the exam would be a reflection of the professor's teaching style. She's pretty laid back, light hearted, and high spirited. Her exam on the other hand, was heavy, loaded, and more like a 400 level psychology exam. I mean she had theories, and theorists, and detailed concepts of this and that on the exam. Things I didn't bother to remember, because I was assuming that I could breeze through it with the simple notes I took from the book. WRONG ANSWER! I under prepared, didn't study hard enough, and made an ass of myself on this test.

What's the plan?

I spoke with my professor after class, and explained to her that earning 'F's' is not my style. I assured her that neither one of us will ever see an 'F' associated with my name. She told me that I could bring my grade up if I did well on all of the upcoming projects and the final. Little did she know, I'd already calculated the possible points after seeing my test grade. If I get A's on the remainder of the projects and the final, I can realistically still earn an A in the class. Of course she gave me the skepticism stare. It was expected. She doesn't know me. All she knows is that I failed the midterm. She doesn't know that I'm one of the most driven and ambitious students that she'll ever encounter. What she doesn't know is that I'm the queen of second chances. She's looking at the comeback Kid! 

When I left Tri-C in 2006, I had a 1.5 GPA. When I left Tri-C in 2014, I had a 3.21 GPA and an Associate's degree. I will get an A in this class. You can mark my words. You can quote me. I guarantee it. I'm too focused, talented, and dedicated to earn anything less.

What's the lesson?

One bad grade doesn't make or break my college career. I don't have to get all A's on everything in order to be considered a successful student. Personally, I love the status, the praise, and the sense of accomplishment associated with aiming high academically. I like receiving straight A's, but that doesn't make me any more or any less intelligent or hard working than any other student. I'm not going to go home and cry. I'm not discouraged, sad, or heartbroken. I know where I messed up. I know what I'm going to do to improve. I've accepted it, and after I publish this blog I'll be over it. 

I've learned that there are no successes without failures. This is just another story I can tell others to encourage them when they are in a similar situation. Another story I can tell at the Tri-C commencement speech I'll be giving in the future. Another story of redemption, refocus, and revelation. I'm a conqueror. I make things happen, I don't make excuses.