How To Be Single

I saw the movie "How To Be Single" this afternoon. I took myself, after a free bowl of Chipotle, to a movie. It's a Saturday night, my son is with his dad, and I wanted out of this house. Don't worry, I won't spoil the movie for you. However, I will share a few of my emotional reactions to this Hollywood single ladies tale.

I cried a few times. Not a sad cry. More of a self-reflective cry. I'm a different kind of single lady. I'm a single mom. Although I'm not dating, I am in a relationship. I'm in a relationship with my son. No he's not my man, but we are in a relationship. I'm his mother, he's my son. Everything I do and say affects him.

I can't stay out all night every night partying and drinking, because I'm responsible for taking good care of my son. I can't wake up with random men in my bed every other week, because my son is watching. I can't live a carefree life, coming and going as I please, because I have a child that depends on me for everything. Therefore, I'm not the stereotypical single lady.

Back when I was in my early twenties, I could relate more to the movie. These days, every decision I make includes my kid. It's kind of hard to not be single right now because of my current lifestyle. I don't go out much, I'm not into online dating (yes I've tried), and I'm not bringing just anybody into my son's life. He doesn't need a daddy, he has an outstanding, dedicated and loving one already.

I'm a 29 year old woman living on campus... I'll let that sink in... Ain't none of these young dudes checkin for me. And I'm certainly not scoping them out either. It's just not a good time for me to be involved with someone. But I think about it at times...

I mean come on, who doesn't want someone to text her good morning with every sunrise, and good night every evening. I do! Who doesn't want someone to call her babe and actually mean it? Who doesn't want a man to surprise her with flowers, or tickets to a Cavs game, or an unexpected date night? I do, I do, I do!!

I want to have a man who sees that I'm cold and brings me a blanket. I want to have a man who puts his arm around me and kisses me on my forehead. I miss having someone to lay on at night. I miss watching movies all day, laughing, play fighting, and acting silly with a special guy.

Sometimes being single sucks. Sometimes I wish I didn't know how to be single. Some days I wish I weren't single. Some nights I pretend I'm not single, and imagine that I'm laying on the broad chest of a man I once loved.

On the other hand, sometimes I thank God that I am single. Who wants to put up with the drama that comes with being in a relationship? The lies, the other women, the conflicts, the arguing, the emotions, the constant consideration of another person's feelings.... Ewwwww. If I don't want to watch ESPN, I don't have to! I don't have to share the remote, or cook what I don't want to. I don't have to answer my phone, respond to text messages, or ask permission to go somewhere. I'm free to do whatever I want!

Well, I'll continue to learn how to be single. I'm learning how to be more productive instead of emotional. Instead of texting a guy when I feel lonely, I'll write a blog, do laundry, study, or clean. There's always something that needs to be done. Maybe keeping busy is apart of learning how to be single. Busy is good.