Relationship Prerequisite

I’ve never been good at this thing called love. I have loved and lost, and lost and loved, and everything in between. What can I say, I’m a hopeless romantic. I’ve been in more relationships than I can count. I’ve had my heart broken and I’ve broken my fair share of hearts. I’ve lusted and have been lusted after. I’ve been a player and I’ve been played. I’ve been lied to and I’ve told lies. I’ve received my karma from playing the field. And now, I’ve found myself in yet another love affair.

Now, by love affair, I don’t actually mean an affair. I’m using the term in the sense of an emotional experience. This is my 3rd relationship in the past three years. I’m honestly afraid to put any real title on it for fear of premature dissolution similar to the previous two encounters. First, there was Mel. Have you ever had a crush that was seemingly perfection at first sight? Someone you thought about obsessively and every time he responded to a text, it made your heart skip a beat? Mel was that guy for me back in 2015. However, one thing my ex-husband taught me about myself is that I am an evolver. I never remain the same for too long. By the time 2017 came around, I had outgrown Mel. Yet the hopeless romantic inside of me still wanted to live the fantasy. So I forced it. We started our relationship in 2017 and scraped and clawed at the dead mouse like a bored cat. It was ugly. It was ugly for almost two years. Then finally after a series of unfortunate events, we finally called it quits at the end of 2019.

In between the offs and ons with Mel, I got into a relationship with Age. He came highly recommended by the person I trust the most,my sister. We got along and things were great in the first 60 days. However, once we saw each others true colors, we called it quits. We didn't even hit the 90 day mark.

I'm getting closer to 40 and I don't want to live the rest of my life alone. So what will I do differently this time?

#1 Know what I want and what I'm looking for. If he doesn't meet my needs and wants I will not settle.
#2 Don't rush and enjoy being friends. I'm not ugly, stupid or desperate. I'm in no need to rush the relationship. I just want to enjoy the flow.
#3 Do the 90 day test. So far it's been about 45 days. We're half way there. After three months, we both will have an idea of whether we want to continue on or not.
#4 Don't throw in the towel as soon as things become uncomfortable. It's so easy for me to walk away without giving things a fair shot. Unless it's something that is extremely unhealthy and disrespectful, I need to commit and communicate if I want to be in a long-term relationship with him or anyone else.
#5 Communicate my needs. If I want to go on a date, tell him. If I'm unhappy, tell him. If I need help, tell him. I can't expect him to read my mind.
#6 Understand who he is and accept him for who he is and not what I want him to be. I need to throw away my rose-colored glasses and get to know who he is and don't try to make him be something he's not.
#7 Don't be selfish and put forth effort. Relationships take work. Sometimes I don't feel like texting him or calling him. I don't want to make up the bed, or take the clothes out of the dryer. But this is a relationship with two people. It's not always about me.

Hopefully these 7 tips will help, as I start yet another courtship...