Take a Nap

 There's a lady that I know named Stephanie. She texts me every single morning, and has for like the several years. It's always a bible verse and a few words of encouragement. Lately she's been blogging. She sends the link to her daily blog as well. It inspired me to start writing again. Thanks Steph.

Yesterday did not start off well for me. I just woke up feeling overwhelmed and discouraged. I feel like I'm constantly hitting reset on my life and starting over. My most recent reset was Monday August 7th. I left my husband for the second time. Moved back in with my good friend Becky for the second time. Hit reset for the second time in less than a year. 

No matter how much I smile, and continue to move forward, starting over is stressful. You ask yourself if it's even worth it. You ask yourself why. You ask yourself how you even got back to this point in the first place. You know all of those answers.

Even though both times I walked away from him things fell into place perfectly, the process stinks. Sleeping on a floor, air mattress, or couch instead of laying in my own bed with my own husband. Having to tip toe around someone else's things. Instead of freely moving about in my own space, I've had to make space for myself and my things in someone else's environment. Although my friend is patient and kind, it's always an inconvenience when someone unexpectedly moves into your home.

In the last three weeks, I've filled out 64 job applications, had one interview with Nordstrom Rack, and have received a dozen no's from some great companies. I've borrowed hundreds of dollars from family and friends. I haven't gone out as much as I did during the previous great escape. I haven't been drinking as much alcohol either. Growth. Last time, I just wanted to distract myself with boys and booze. This time, I'm actually healing and developing professionally, and especially financially.

Some days are just better than others. 

Yesterday I became so frustrated with the process, that I exhausted myself mentally and had to take a nap. When I woke up, I had a message for a job interview that will take place tomorrow. I found out I got approved for low cost internet, and Mide sent me $50 which I used to have fun with a few of my girlfriends. 

When I woke up from that nap a few things came out of the "vortex" and into my reality. I ended up having a great evening. I went live on FB, IG and Youtube! We went to happy hour at Vino Vinyl and I ordered everything I wanted on that menu. Then after that, we went line dancing in Rosharon! I learned some new moves and was able to shake, wind, twist, and pop my long body in front of a group of super cool strangers. It was a good day.

All because of a simple nap...