FOH!!!

Really bruh? Honestly? I mean seriously guy. My guy, my guy... Who, what, when, where,why and how my dude? 

I CAN'T STAND AN ARROGANT A-HOLE!!!! That's one type of male personality that I seriously can't deal with. Why do you have to brag and boast about every little thing you do/have done/are doing? I abhor a conceited egotistical man.

I think it's great that you earned your degree from an HBCU. How awesome is it that you're in an African American fraternity. You have two foreign cars valued at $90,000 each. Great! No, really, I'm very happy for you. But my guy... my guy... my guy.... You don't have to remind me about all the stuff you have every time we converse. Can't we talk about ANYTHING besides you?? I didn't even ask you!! 

I'm mature enough to know that overly braggadocious men tend to use material things to cover up deep wounds. Perhaps they had a terrible childhood with abusive or neglectful parents. Or maybe they grew up poor and secretly yearned for a rich and fancy lifestyle. Whatever the case, if you observe a person long enough, his true colors will inevitably bleed through the black and white. 

Let me make myself a bit more clear. I'm fine with a man telling me about his accomplishments, ambitions and goals. That makes for good conversation, especially since I'm goal oriented. HOWEVER, when his tone is snooty, and he tells me the cost of things without my inquiry I perceive that as arrogance. When he speaks like he's about to open up for Frank Sinatra, all scripted and smooth, I perceive that as conceit. I prefer a man that's a bit more reserved and down to Earth. That's my own personal preference.

At first glance, this guy was confident, educated, and the typical "classic man." He was a gentleman, and carried himself with pride. I respected that. Over the next few interactions, my interest began to plateau. I realized he got much of his self worth from what others thought about him. I understood the fact that he was more concerned with "looking the part" than being himself. As the weeks passed by, and the conversations grew less shallow, things started to come full circle.

This guy was covering his problems with $100 bottles of cologne, designer sports jackets, and Mercedes-Benz emblems. He had unresolved issues with his sick and elderly parents. He still lived with them. He was desperate for a relationship, and jumped into one with a woman he didn't have much in common with. Or so he thought... You attract what you are. He got with a woman who had similar issues to himself, and it irritated him. 

Another problem I discovered was his alcoholism. Now don't get me wrong, I drink wine. I have a few glasses a week. I'm not opposed to drinking alcohol at all. What concerned me was when the beers were cracked open before the eggs. He was drinking first thing in the morning after he had been drinking late into the previous night. And, he was binge drinking. Long after he became "tipsy" he continued to drink, and drink, and drink some more. 

Then he revealed the past DUI's he's gotten arrested for. 

I had long before decided that we'd just be associates. Every one needs a friend to talk to about his or her problems. I don't mind being there for him when he's feeling low. But I know that we could never be any closer than that. I've dated an alcoholic once before, and I can't risk that behavior being demonstrated in front of my son. I don't want to see anyone abusing his or her body, and potentially taking out frustrations on me. All I can do is keep my distance and be honest. But it's difficult hearing about personal problems. We've all see Intervention. Many of us don't like confrontation.

If I consider myself being there for this person, I may have to get uncomfortable with him for a moment. I can respectfully address my concerns about his arrogance (without using that word), and his alcoholism (without using that word). It makes no sense for me to complain about it, then act like it doesn't bother me when we talk or meet up. Although he gets under my skin sometimes, I do consider him to be an associate with friendship potential. And as a potential friend, I'm choosing to speak up, politely. 

What would you do?