My Body

Do you like you?

That's a loaded question.  What do you like about you? What do you love about you? What do you want to like about you?

Watching television, listening to music, and browsing the Internet has altered my self image. I see my body everyday in the mirror and I sometimes question myself. Am I too skinny? Do my breasts sit too low? Is my behind too small? Is my hair too short? Are my eyebrows too thick? Is my face, underarms, legs, area down below too hairy? Are my toes ugly? Is my stomach too pudgy? Should I have surgery to make my butt bigger? Should I have surgery to repair my inverted nipples? Has my body changed drastically since giving birth? Do I look acceptable with no clothes on? Am I attractive in my most vulnerable form?

I have to accept myself exactly the way I am. If it's just me staring at myself in the mirror, who am I trying to impress? I don't care if my butt is big or small. I don't care that my breasts don't sit high up almost being parallel to my shoulders. I don't care if my hair is long or short. My stomach doesn't bother me, and I think my toes are fine. So why are all these questions running through my mind?

All that matters is how I feel about me, and I like me.

I'm starting to appreciate myself more and more with each passing year. When I was younger, I never thought I was that pretty. I always thought I was average looking. I knew I was smart, but I didn't have the highest self esteem about my physical appearance. Low self esteem led to a host of issues, from abusive relationships to promiscuity.

As I mature, I've come to find that it's ok to tell myself how awesome and great I am. My perception of greatness and amazement for myself is not based on a comparison of myself to others. It is my own personal scale of awesome that I've developed for myself. To me, I'm great because I give my best more often than not. I'm great because I try to improve my character, my kindness, and my patience daily. I love myself because I am not afraid of adversity, I am not afraid to take risks. I may be scared of something, but I pursue it anyway.

I have developed a larger sense of humility, peace, and strength. I understand what makes me feel good about myself. I feel good about myself when I burn the midnight oil writing, making videos and studying. I am proud of myself when I help others and can brighten someones day. I love when I push myself past a point of previous perceived limitations. I love dressing in my favorite clothes, jewelry and high heels, fixing up my hair real nice, and looking in the mirror at my beautiful smile.

It's ok to talk about how much I like myself. It's fine to look in the mirror and tell myself how beautiful I am. Many times in the past I'd feel guilty about saying I was pretty, because people will make you feel like you're bragging. If you speak too highly of yourself people will call you arrogant, stuck up and conceited. They get offended by your admiration, appreciation and acknowledgement of yourself. Which is crazy t me seeing how self centered many Americans are anyway. A nation of self centered self hating people. What an ugly contradiction.

In order to be the best me that I can be, I have to believe in myself. I have to take care of myself. Me, myself and I have to know how stellar we are in order to accomplish these dreams and reach these goals. I cannot change the world, reach people, and get on stages worldwide if I am not confident and happy within myself. It won't happen. So pardon me if I come off as self absorbed. Excuse me for taking the time to cater to myself, and help me heal my wounds with self love. I apologize for making people feel uncomfortable when I adorn myself with positive affirmations. But I'm not going to stop, and it's only going to increase.

It will be passed on to my son. At 3.5 years young, he has been affirmed. He knows how strong, resilient, handsome, intelligent, talented, respected and loved he is. I will continue to encourage him and speak positive words into him life forever. You'd be surprised how big of a difference a few kind words and a smile can make. As he grows and experiences the roller coaster of life, he can always reflect back on the things I've said to him. He can draw courage, confidence and strength knowing that if mommy and daddy said it, it must be true.

My concluding thoughts simply go back to the opening question. Do you like you? Consider how you feel when you look at you. If you feel like nothing needs to be changed, then why change it? If you're content and satisfied with what you see, why does the opinion of anyone else matter?

I'm perfectly fine with who I am inside and out. Are you?