Not There Yet

Last night I stayed up until 2:00 am cooking and preparing a meal for today. I offered to cook greens, potato salad, baked chicken, and my godmother's famous Macaroni and Cheese for some friends. We're collaborating on a project, and instead of paying them with cash, I'll be feeding their spirits and stomachs. I went to the grocery store around 6:00 pm, got back home around 7:00 pm, cooked my son his dinner, then started my big meal. I had no idea what I had gotten myself into.

The last time I cooked greens was about 5 or 6 years ago. Obviously, I forgot how much work it takes just to prepare those things. You have to wash them like 87 times. Then you have to pick all of the leafy goodness off of the bitter stems. I only had about 2 pounds of greens, that's 1 full bag. If you've never picked greens before you may not understand the time consuming process. It's like bringing a 50 foot tree home and picking off every leave one by one. Not to mention I was standing on my feet the whole time, after working all day.

After over an hour of getting the leaves off the stems, I cut the the greens in smaller strips, washed them a few more times. All the while my meat was boiling, and I threw on a pot of hot water to boil my eggs and potatoes for my potato salad. Once I put the greens in the pot 2 hours later, I would still have to wait for 3 hours until they finished cooking. I also chopped up a large onion to split between the salad and the greens. The potatoes and eggs didn't take long to boil. But then I had to peel all those eggs and potatoes, chop them, and mix up all the ingredients to finish the salad. Finally I decided to clean my chicken and marinate it overnight. By this time it's after 1:00 am, and I'm sorry Mr. Mac and cheese would have to wait until tomorrow. I just didn't have the strength to stay up and see it through.

That's how I know I'm not there yet. I remember my mom, aunts, Granny, and godmother staying in the kitchen literally all day and night cooking for the holidays. They never complained, and they actually enjoyed it! I know their passion and dedication came about from years of practice. They all have their specific cooking plan, recipes memorized, and a militant system of how everything will fall into place. I'm not there yet. I had to call and text my mom, uncle, godsister, and godmother every hour to remember what seasonings to use, and how much of this and that to add to my dishes. Thankfully, they kindly helped me out and everything turned out to be delicious.

This Macaroni and Cheese (I capitalize it because it's so damn good), has me a little nervous. I've never made it on my own without supervision from my godmother. And y'all know how moms are, THEY DON'T MEASURE!! I'm afraid I won't add enough milk, or too much cheese. What if I over cook the noodles? What if it's too dry? My reputation and hers is on the line! (I love these normal people problems!!!!) I'm going to do my very best, even if she has to walk me through the whole process over the phone. Each time I make it, it will get easier. Hopefully I'll make her proud, and impress my friends when they taste it.

I really want to apologize to my family members who spend endless hours on their feet preparing these beautiful meals for us every year. I apologize for taking you for granted, and only stopping by to get a plate. I'm sorry for not offering to help, even if you wouldn't accept it. The least I can do is chop the vegetables, wash the dishes, or help pick the greens. Many of us only see the finished product and we get spoiled by having it all laid out before each holiday. We don't see all the planning and preparation. You have to make the list of ingredients, plan the menu, shop for the food, buy the food, prepare the food, cook the food, serve the food, break down the food, fit it all into your refrigerator, and clean your kitchen after all of us leave.

I have a new appreciation for all that you do, and I am stepping up. One day, I will have that love driven stamina to stay in the kitchen from 4:00 pm to 4:00 am. But right now, I know, I'm not there yet. I love you all. See you on Christmas!