Talking My Language

There's a book by a man named Gary Chapman called The 5 Love Languages. I read this book a few years ago while spending the Summer with my sister in Houston. She had suggested it to me as a tool for future relationships. I can't find the notebook that I wrote my 2013 results in, but I think they were the same results I received after taking the test again just a few months ago. On the book's website there's a quiz that tells what someone love language is. The test is a series of about 50 or so questions relating to a specific love language. The more you score under a certain love language, determines which love language you speak. <Here's the link in case you or you and your partner would like to know your love languages.

http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profiles/couples

What is a love language? I'm glad you ask. Let me answer by first informing you about the 5 love languages that most men and women speak.

#1. Words of Affirmation
#2. Acts of Service
#3. Receiving Gifts
#4. Quality Time
#5. Physical Touch

A love language is a way to express love emotionally. According to the author Gary Chapman, "each person has a primary love language that we must learn to speak if we want that person to feel loved."
The languages basically explain themselves, but I'll elaborate briefly on each one.

#1. Words of Affirmation- This person loves to hear compliments, verbal praises and acknowledgements of her deeds, duties and accomplishments. For example: Your wife cleaned the entire house, cooked dinner, washed and folded the clothes, all after she worked a full shift. If this is her love language, express to her how much you appreciate all she does for you, and tell her how great of a wife and homemaker she is.

#2. Acts of Service- This person loves to simple acts that show how much you care. For example: Have your husband's dinner cooked and ready for him when he comes home from work. Or fill up the gas tank without your partner having to ask. Pick up the kids from school, giving your partner a break. Or do that one thing that your partner never really has time to do, like ironing his work pants the night before so he's not late for work.

#3. Receiving Gifts- This person loves to receive small trinkets and gifts because it shows you were thinking of her and you love her. This person is not to be confused with a gold digger. The gift can be as simple as a .99 cent card from the dollar store. Receiving gifts is the expression of love that makes this person feel special. For example: You surprise your significant other with a simple arrangement of flowers on a "no occasion" day.

#4. Quality Time- This person loves uninterrupted time with his partner. For example: Get a sitter for the children, leave all electronic devices at home, and take a long romantic walk with your boyfriend. Or set apart a time slot where it's just the two of you enjoying one another's company; every Saturday at 6:30pm is date night.

#5. Physical Touch: This person feels love when receiving physical affection. This is not to be used as a tool for getting more sex. For example: Hug your partner from behind while she's washing the dishes. Kiss your husbands forehead, cheeks and lips while snuggling on the couch together. Hold hands when walking through the mall. Massage your partners shoulders or feet after a long day of work.

If you want more in depth information about the 5 Love Languages, I encourage you to visit the website or even buy the book. It's fun to learn more about yourself and your partner.

My top two love languages are words of affirmation, and receiving gifts. It even works when learning to love myself! I've started reciting words of affirmations out loud in the mirror every morning with my son. Throughout the day, I remember what I said to myself about myself. I remember how awesome and successful I told myself I was. It empowers me and helps me love me more and more! Also, I've vowed to keep fresh flowers in my apartment. I feel so good when I see the fresh flowers smiling at me every night before I go to sleep, and every morning when I rise. I love myself for loving me!

Don't be nervous about trying something new. You never know how much of a positive impact this may have on your relationships. It could open some new doors, and take your relationships places you couldn't even imagine!

TRY IT!!!


Comments

Popular Posts